May 4, 2009.
Ok, so this is gonna be awkward when Seattle reads this entry, but I made a promise to be honest in this blog. So here goes nothing.
I totally googled his ex wife today. I was bored, online and went for it. I think I may have found a picture of her, which is really all I wanted. I don’t know why it’s in our nature to need to know what people who came before us looked like. But, it was killing me not knowing. She has a very original name, which leads me to believe I did find her. But, I could be wrong.
What I learned is that she’s a very smart woman, but I guess I already knew this. Seattle had mentioned before that he usually dates women that are like him in the sense that they’re very logical and scientifical. I’m different…I’m artsy and put my faith in fate.
Anywho, I stared at her picture for awhile trying to imagine what Seattle’s life with her must’ve been like. She looks like a kind person, but I can’t picture him with her. He’s so full of life and her picture made her seem so much older than him.
I feel so silly that I did that, but we all fall under the spell of google once in awhile, don’t we? Don’t lie! I know you’ve been there. It does make me wonder though. I seem so different than her. We never talk about it, I suppose because it’s a hard topic for him, but I’d like to know I guess what it was like when they first began. Their puppy love stage. Was it anything like it is with me? I wonder what he likes about me sometimes.
Granted he always tells me I’m “hot” and “cute” and he just “feels good” when he’s around me. But what else? What else do I have to offer? I wonder.
Off to kickboxing and then I’m breaking my alcohol cleanse and going to go have a beer with Nikki. I need it tonight.
