When does the Party Stop?

September 7, 2009.

Happy Happy Labor Day!

So, basically, I didn't post yesterday or the day before because my life has been one nonstop party since I've returned to Manhattan Beach interspersed with a bit of work here and there.

I got back at 8:30pm friday night and Laurie dropped me at home and had to run because he was off to hang with Madrid. Then I received a text from Lacey saying, “Get ready! We're going out!” So I got a little dolled up and waited for Lacey and Nikki to get home from work. We called up the boys we had met the first night and they were out at a walkable bar so we met them there.

One of them stopped when they saw us and goes, “Oh, are you the Dong Bongers??” Oh man, I hope we're not forever called that, but it was pretty hysterical. Well, we drank beer did some shots and headed to another bar called Beaches cause the girls wanted to dance.

It ended up being the three of us, Goofball and one of his friends that we just met that night. Goofball is so damn funny. He's 26 but definitely looks older and I swear that his mission in life is to just get wasted. Screw the hot girls that dancin' up on him and just give him that damn beer!

After Beaches we walked back to our place because Gb was dying to hit the dong bong again. On the way we walked on the beach...it was pretty awesome. Gb gave me a piggyback ride for a bit and then I remember us running for some reason back to the apartment. I don't know why we felt the urge...we just did.

And Lacey felt the urge to strip down...yup, into her skivvies. It was awesome. We have a pretty badass pic of it, and i'll post it when and if I get her permission to. When we got back to our place I decided it was my bedtime and I just went straight for bed. I'll admit, I was sort of hoping Gb would come cuddle, but really only because I've been dying to cuddle with someone. It's been sooooo long!!!

But, he was a good boy, didn't try anything and was more interested in the Dong Bong, which we have now deemed his girlfriend, since, he is so in love with it, he would probably marry it.

Yesterday, Lacey and I went shopping in preparation for this evening's activities and then laid out on the beach. Goofball, Beans and Alan met up with us. They're really cool guys and I'm glad we've met them already.

Lacey has quite the crush on Beans and I'll be honest. It kind of upset me cause, I do too. And I always choose my ladies over guys, so after she admitted that, I knew I couldn't do anything about it. Plus, I'm not about to compete or show off for a guys attention, so I just kind of laid low.

I had to work yesterday and was so anxious to get cut so that I could go party with the girls back in M.B. Unfortunately, even though I got off fairly early I had a snag in the road...my tire went flat. It was inevitable, I had hit it pretty bad a few months ago and had a bump in it, so it finally couldn't handle the stress. Ugh. I pulled off into a hilton parking lot and called the girls. I just didn't know what to do. I don't have AAA anymore and I don't know how to change my tire (I know, typical girl). So Lacey and Nikki showed up to help because Nikki does know how to change a tire (I know, badass girl), and when they showed up I had just about every Valet there trying to help me. It was ridiculous. The whole thing took about two hours because first, we couldn't get the spare out of my trunk. We had to break a piece off to get it out. Then the lugnuts on that particular tire were different than my others, so we needed a special rachet, which no one had, of course. Then when AAA finally showed up they forgot the proper tools, so they had to go back get it. ARRRRGGGGHGGHHH! It was so frustrating.

Finally, we got the spare on and were able to head to M.B. to start our festivities.

I drank...a lot. I just went for it. Balls to the wall. Then we headed out to more walkable bars and I proceeded to just get wasted.

I was supposed to hear from North last night, but of course, he's MIA. I just think I have to be done. No more chances. Things with guys shouldn't be this forced or hard to achieve. So, Lacey's drummer showed up last night and brought a few people with him. They weren't very fun. So, once again on the walk home, Nikki and I decided this time that we would strip down to our skivvies. I only ran around in my bra and jeans, but Nikki pulled a Lacey and was in her bra and undies. Awesome. Then Nikki and I decided that we didn't want the rest of the group to catch up to us, so we sprinted home.

I don't know what it is about M.B. but it brings out the stripping marathon runners inside of us. Ridiculous!

Today is just gonna be one long day of partying as well...i just made myself a wine smoothie and am about to head to the beach! Hope ya'll have a great labor day too!

Learn from Mothers Mistakes.

September 2, 2009.

Yay! I'm beating my pattern! One two punch in the balls! I just text North, because quite frankly I was thinking about him all last night and all this morning and I miss him. I think we could have a really great thing and I'm just not ready to throw in the towel.

He's not like typical L.A. guys, that's why I knew there had to be something up other than him just not being interested. Apparently (I just learned) that his temp job has gotten extended 10 more days. It was supposed to be over and done with on the 27th, but now it looks like he'll still be working till this upcoming Friday.

After I text him that I was in need of some “adult conversation and a large glass of liqueur” he called me. He said, “I'm not sure if I have much to offer in the way of adult conversation, but...”

Adorable. I just really like him. I was picturing one of the Saturdays that we hung out and how I was sitting with him at one point, in a rather cozy position, very couple-esque and we were reminiscing about college. I loved that. It was really special to me.

So, I just told him that this next weekend once I'm home he should come and hang out at the new place. Since, after all it is going to be labor day weekend and there will be crazy parties and what not going on. He said he just might come down to hang out on Sunday...sounds good to him. Perfect. I know this is terrible, but now, if Drummer comes and hangs on Saturday, at least I won't have to be entertaining two guys at once.

I still think Drummer's quite cute and a great catch, I just can't shake North yet. Plus, Drummer'll be going on tour with his band in October and I just don't really want to date someone that's gonna be gone for awhile, even if it's just a month. I don't like that.

Man oh man, I'm ready to be back in the west.

I'm alone in the hotel right now because everyone else is going to the nearest Hess station to pick up some chewing tobacco for my bro-in-law. Sometimes I look at my sister and I just can't help but wonder what's going on in her head. Quite often I have to bite my tongue about things.

She's now a step-mother to an 8yr old, which means if it were her own, she would've had her at 19. Eek. She loves her stepdaughter but when I watch them, all I see is frustration in my sister's eyes. She's constantly telling her what not to do and very rarely says sweet things. Not that she isn't loving, I just feel like she's taken on the role of sergeant so that Daddy can be the best friend. The one who doesn't have to discipline. Then, Sister gets annoyed because Daddy isn't disciplining. It's a ridiculously obnoxious thing to witness.

Then, today, when the rain hit while we were in the park and we all had poncho's except for bro-in-law, and b.i.l. hasn't had his chewing tobacco for a week and hasn't had a single beer yet today, things got tense. And I just couldn't help but think to myself (and I held my tongue) that I was witnessing my father.

My father was a great dad. He was a great friend. He was funny and fun and lovable and generous. But when it came to being a husband...he was sort of a baby. My mom was constantly trying to “fix” whatever was ailing him at the moment and trying to make him happy...to no avail. Well, this is what I witness with Sis and Bro-in-law. He was a big baby today.

I just want my sister to be happy. That is all. And if she honestly believes this is the happiest she can be, then so be it. I believe it too. I just hope she isn't settling for someone that will drive her crazy like our dad did to our mom.

I love/loved both my parents and wouldn't trade them for the world. But, I do wish I could take all those years of depression and strife and fighting and tears out of my childhood and out of my mom's past and replace it with laughter and love and singing and joy. I fear our family wasted a lot of precious moments, believing our time together was endless. It was not.

Now, it's just me, my mom and my sis and I'm not willing to see any of the three of us unhappy! We are magnificently strong, beautiful, fun, smart women who deserve just as much in the men we end up with. I will not settle!

"Hungry Eyes"

September 1, 2009.

Another month...new adventures! I'm still in Florida with the fam. It's been fun but yesterday I experienced the sending and receiving of what I'd like to refer to as “hungry eyes”. I miss guys my age that don't have wives and children!! I miss flirting. I miss making out! I don't really miss sex. I never, ever crave it anymore. Maybe I've curbed my appetite.

Well, we were down by the pool bar yesterday at our resort and there was a boy (and by boy, I mean guy my age) buying a drink. He was fairly attractive and our eyes met...we fell in love...and lived happily ever after. Right.

We spotted each other and our hungry eyes spoke to one other as only eyes of 25 year old single people in a world full of 10 year olds can do. We were craving adult conversation, drunken nights and hooking up. I could see it. I could smell it. I was, of course, with the fam, so there was no flirting that was to be taking place. Humph. I miss L.A.

It's just so different here. I watch these families with their wives and husbands and kids and grandparents and I just think to myself, 'I don't know if I ever want this.' The dads are all frowning, the moms are pulling their kids this way and that way. The kids are either whining or crying or drooling or pooping and the grandparents have their arms loaded up with bags and stuff that no one's going to remember a month from now.

Happiest place on earth? Not so sure.

Now don't get me wrong. I love my family and I'm having a blast with my sis, bro-in-law and niece. But, I think a week of this is all I could handle. I can't imagine this being my immediate life.

Perhaps when I meet Prince Charming, I'll change my mind. But, I doubt it.

I text Drummer last night. Just want people in L.A. to know I'm still alive. I feel like being gone for a week makes me miss so much stuff! I know I'm probably not really missing much, but it feels like a month.

Also, I went to bed last night thinking about North. It's just so perplexing. He's done with work and he seemed to be enjoying my company when we were together, but no word from him. It's kind of shocking. I expected at least a “Hey! No more work! Victory is mine!” text, but my phone has remained silent.

Granted, he knows that I was going out of town, so maybe he just figures he'll give me space and talk to me when I get back. But really?? No word whatsoever? And then I do what I always do and make excuses for the boys I like, because I know I do these things myself. What if he's just waiting to hear from me? What if he assumes I haven't text or called because I'm the one who's over it? Argh!!!!

I'm just so frustrated with the whole 'mating game'. I just want a fun guy to spend time with and do things with and hang out with and sleep next to. I don't need marriage and kids and happily ever after. Don't they get it?? I'm probably the best girlfriend they could hope for?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

Well, right when I get back there are going to be big Labor Day weekend parties going on all over Manhattan Beach. I've already invited Drummer, and I do hope he comes. I just wish it was going to be North. But, I obviously can't have them both there. Not gonna happen.

Alrighty, three more days with kids, candy and grumpy parents then it's back to Never-never land where I get to act like a child with people my own age, who refuse to grow up and get real jobs.

My niece said to me today, “I'm gonna go to college in California so I can live with you out there and then we can work at the same place!!”

“Cool!!” I responded with a great big grin. In reality I was thinking in my head, if in ten years (when she's off to college) I'm still working my restaurant job...it's time to re-evaluate my life.

I've gotta get a move on!