I'm just a little person...

August 9, 2009.

I have a pattern of meeting guys that I really really like, but who aren't ready for relationships. And, I supposed I'm probably the best girl they could meet at those moments because, unlike others, I won't run screaming for the hills, nor will I flip out on them and make them feel bad.

I'll tell them till the cows come home that it's fine and we can take it slow and not to rush into something they're not sure about. Because, I feel as though if I act accordingly, I'll still be getting pretty much what I want, they'll still be getting pretty much what they want and we won't have any of that drama bullsh*t that screws up relationships.

I hung out with North last night. It was awesome. We had beer and whiskey. We talked about how f*cked up dating in L.A. is and shared stories. I told him I keep a blog about my dating life, but I didn't give him any clues as how to find it. I don't think he's a sleuth like Seattle was, so I'm pretty sure my secrets are safe for now.

We were gonna watch a movie, but literally just spent the entire night (from 8:45 on) just talking. Although we've been friends for so long, we haven't kept in touch that well, so pretty much the last four years of each other's lives had been a mystery and all we knew was hearsay from mutual friends.

Then, the coolest thing about being on “date” with an old friend is that you can reminisce. This doesn't happen with strangers. We started recalling moments of our past that we had shared and not until this very moment in time did we realize we had shared them. Funny how that works.

Man, it was a really great night. Again, one of my favorite L.A. evenings spent with a guy. Granted my best nights in L.A. have been with my girls, so that's why I have to define that it was great night with a guy.

I told North straight up that I don't ever want him to think he needs to rush into things with me. I want us to be friends no matter what and even if we decide that the kissing needs to not happen between us anymore, we will still hang out. I know he's been through a lot and I, like I said in a previous entry, just want to be that “fun” part of his life. He was uber relieved to hear this. I knew he would be.

My only request was that he always be honest about how he's feeling. I just hate wondering and worrying when I can't tell what's going on in his head.

Ok, so my most favorite moment of the night was when we was sitting at his computer and I had gone over to stand next to him so he could show me a music video, after it was over this song came on that was unbelievably perfect for the evening. Here's the youtube video:



It was just so ironic because it was exactly what we'd been saying earlier in the evening, “Let's have some fun...you're the one I like the best.” Man how perfect.

I spent the night and this time, I did sleep in my undies, but again, no sex. Yay! I have no doubt in my mind that if we do eventually sleep together, it will be phenomenal, but I'm in no rush. I like what we got goin' on and I hope we're able to do it for awhile.

He's so funny, I told him how down in Manhattan Beach on labor day weekend there's gonna be a big crazy wild block party and he should come down to hang and he said, “Are you still gonna wanna hang with me in September?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, I'm still gonna wanna be friends with you in September!”

I hope our fun lasts for awhile. He needs it. I need it. It could be something very good.

Watch Out! Here Comes a Whole Flock!

March 31, 2009.

Here we go folks, another month another milestone for me! 3 months celibate! Hazzah! I’ve been strong thus far…9 more months to go. Last night was quite an unexpected adventure. I actually didn’t talk to Seattle much yesterday and I was a little sad about it, but I purposely didn’t let myself call him because I need to not get so attached. It was hard though! Took a lot of will power and of course I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why has he not contacted me?”

Well, I ended up going out with Nikki last night. Met her at work and then we decided to venture somewhere new. We headed into Studio City to check out some bars we’d never been to before (well, I had been once before). Her only requirement was that there be lots of guys. Done. Being a Monday this task seemed a little more daunting, but whenever I go anywhere with Nikki, it doesn’t take long to find guys. They just seem to flock.

So we started at one bar and as soon as we walked in the door a group of Armenian guys started flirting with us. We got out of that situation pretty quickly and stuck to ourselves in a corner of the bar. After a drink there we went across the street to the next bar. We comprised 50% of the female population there. Sweet. We couldn’t help but notice a group of guys that were at he bar behind us. Pretty good looking, but they were with the other females that were there. After about 40min at the bar these guys next to us started chatting. They were pretty fun. One was from Ireland, one was very quiet and the third couldn’t keep his eyes off Nikki.

We started a heated game of trivia with them and the Irish one and I made a deal that whoever lost the next round had to buy the other a shot of their choice. I kicked some Irish butt and we took a shot of whiskey…ugh. Then two more guys at the end of the bar sent the bartender over to offer Nikki and me a round of drinks. We weren’t really interested in drinking more, but I told the ‘tender if it made his tip larger, send the drinks our way! So those guys ended up moving down to our end of the bar and playing trivia with us. So, drunken boys surrounded us! What fun!

I apparently got more drunk than I realized and exchanged numbers with one of them, who I most definitely was not interested in, and I don’t even remember giving him my number, but this morning I woke up to a text from him, so hmmm…

And Nikki had exchanged numbers with one of the other guys and later text me saying that the Irish one had text her and told her to give me his number. He was definitely very attractive and I’m gonna be honest, I was not on my A game last night. I didn’t go out expecting to meet guys, so I was dressed like a slob. Also, whenever I go out with Nikki I just assume that the attractive men are going to hit on her, so I don’t concern myself with them. But, in my opinion he was definitely the best looking of the three and I was very flattered that he liked me.

Seattle and I just had a conversation this morning about men flocking to women at the bars and my argument was that they would flock to any girl, they’re not that picky. His argument was that I have a skewed opinion about it because I’m attractive and “must get hit on a lot”. I kept saying that’s not true, but after writing about last night, I’m kinda beginning to wonder…But there really was a lack of females at the bar. After all it was a Monday night.

I’ve got 17 days till Washington and I’m still super psyched. It’s strange though, because I keep thinking, so much can happen in that amount of time. Seattle and I aren’t an official couple, even though I feel as if we are. But, what if someone else comes into my life between now and then? Do I bank on the fact that Seattle’s wonderful and just thinking about him makes me smile or do I suck up reality that he’s in Washington, I’m in LA and it doesn’t appear as though either of us will be moving any time soon.

He was talking about his summer internship and how he might get an opportunity to do a lot of travel in the next year and I got kind of sad. I couldn’t help but think to myself, well…he’s already in a different state and then if he goes off travelling for a bit, is there really any hope for “us”? I’m sure I’m getting way too ahead of myself. But really, what are our actual options?