Love at First Sight

February 18, 2009.

I believe in love at first sight. Not necessarily in the fact that it’s the only way love happens, but more so in the fact that it is possible. And why wouldn’t it be possible if “eyes are the window to the soul”, then can’t you take one look at someone and see their soul and know that they’re meant to be with you? I think it’s possible and I’m gonna find it.

I’m at my usual coffee shop and I just fixed the toilet in the bathroom…that’s right, I stuck my hand wrist deep into the back of the toilet and fixed their flushing problem. Here I am a capable, independent woman, willing to fix public restrooms for free and yet, I can’t find a single man in L.A. that wants a meaningful relationship.

That’s all. Going to the “40 Days of Love” bible study with Margaret and Lee this evening…I’ll update in a bit.

A Proposal? So soon?

January 21, 2009

8am, I woke up to a marriage proposal. Ok, so maybe it was a marriage text and it was at 8:37am, but it was still a proposal. My friend Jeff, who lives in Chicago, text me most randomly this morning. I feel like everyone I met last summer has just come back into my life and all in three days…I’ve heard from 8 of my coworkers/friends from my catering job. There must be a reason for this.

Jeff continued to text me silly things about how we’d have a honeymoon on the moon and even though we can’t afford it, “our love will pay for everything.” I know he was joking about everything. He’s gay. As for as I know, he’s gay. And he’s a drug addict. So I don’t quite know what kind of future I would have with a gay drug addict, but it would be thrilling! That’s for sure!

Also, I talked to Kyle last night, who is on his way into town with the newest band he’s tour managing. He informed me that they would be staying at Chez Irene’s this evening. I have yet to tell the roommates. What a nice surprise!

Margaret and I have our Women’s Study church group tonight for the first time. I’m looking forward to it. No men. What a change of pace. Then we come home to a house full of men. Men in bands…hmmm. This will most definitely make for a comical evening. There will not be a drop of alcohol on my lips! I think I’m gonna have to play the mother figure this evening. I hope this works out and our apartment doesn’t explode!!

I’m frightened. Updates soon.

Gonna Be a Happy Year

January 18, 2009.

I’m very excited! I had church this morning and Margaret and I signed up for the women’s study group, which is going to take place on Wednesday evening. The pastor, Pastor Ric caught us at the coffee counter they have and chatted us up for a bit. He highly recommended that we attend the singles group they have. Hmm…lots of single Christian men. Not sure I can handle that!

Margaret and I then went to Barnes and Noble to get the book we need for this Wednesday. We both read through the first chapter and it was all about making room in your life for worship. Worship before work. Kind of ironic since I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go to the meeting this Wednesday if I get booked on a job. I do desperately need the money, but God should come first.

Improv this evening was a little rusty, but practicing felt good. Only one more rehearsal before we do our next show. John, one of the heads of the company noticed my ring and noted aloud, “That’s a shiny ring!” And I replied, “It’s not a real ring, well, it’s a real ring, but it’s not actually an engagement ring. I wear it to keep people away.” Then they all made a big deal of it and Brad added it into our introductions while rehearsing our show. “Let’s welcome our players…and here’s the next lovely lady who wears a ring to keep the men away, Irene!” Oh boy, I hope he doesn’t do that during the actual show.

Again, I just feel it unnecessary to lie to this group of people as well. Harmless…I hope. After practice I had a meeting with John to discuss this upcoming year at the theater. I expressed interest in a few of the shows and he was excited to hear that I was interested in ‘Medea’. He in turn expressed interest in having me play the part of Medea. Which is exciting, thrilling, terrifying, and worrisome all in one.

Now here’s another thing. They have acting classes for their members during the day on Wednesdays. So how coincidental and perfect is it that I could take Wednesdays off to pursue acting and worship as well as Sundays off to pursue church and improv. It just seems so perfect and it also fills my schedule with incredibly beneficial things and gives me less time to think about men. I love it. This year is going to kick some major butt!

Just on another note: I feel as though Tony’s been reaching out to me more lately. Maybe he’s lonely and needs a friend. Maybe he misses me. Maybe he’s in love and finally realizing it. Totally kidding on that last part. But, it’s kind of funny how it’s worked out since I vowed to keep him out of my 2009 life. But perhaps he’s suppose to experience 2009 with me and I’m meant to help him, spiritually, perhaps, emotionally, perhaps, who knows why, but I’m glad we can be a part of one another’s lives in a healthy way; at least a healthier way.

Church + Improv = Happiness?

January 4, 2009.

Let’s see…what to say about today. Well, woke up early enough to join Margaret at church. Something we’re trying out this year. Church was good. It was a sermon about being a better Christian and the tools you need to succeed.

The last time we went to this church I moved the ring back to my right hand. It just didn’t seem right having a false presentation of myself. And the way I saw it was, it’s not like guys are going to be picking you up in church, so there’s really no threat to being single here. However, this time I kept it on my left. I think I’m gonna try to never move it over, just so I get used to it and almost forget it’s even there.

Now, even though I’m in a house of God, I can’t help but think about the men around me. It’s just interesting. I find Christian men rather intimidating. I grew up surrounded by Christian men and they just always seemed so much stricter than others did. My father was a Christian man, but he was also a rather cheerful and humorous person. He did have quite the anger within him though. I think I associate wrath with men of faith as well. Which is sort of ironic.
But every time I go to church or am in a situation where there are religious men my age, I can’t help but think, "This is who I don’t want to marry". Sounds backward, but it’s true.

Went to improv tonight. Small group this evening, only four of us. Three girls and one guy. Now, I know I seem to have my focus on men, but that’s the whole point of this blog. To study men, while at the same time warding them off with my ring of abstinence!
Right when I got there we started talking about holidays and family. I brought up an argument that I had recently with my sister. Which in turn led to a discussion on marriage. I discovered that Brad, the only male improviser this evening, finds that dating a girl for three years should be the defining moment. "After three years you know if you want to marry them or not." I agree, but I think even sooner, you’d probably be able to tell. I think within the first year you know whether there is long term potential or not. Then you decide to stick with it and when you feel the timing is right, you take the next step.

I’m still undecided about marriage myself. Every time I think about it I just don’t see the point. But instinctually I always catch myself thinking, "Well, when I get married…" or "The guy I’m going to marry…"

The "ex" tried to friend me on myspace today. I immediately denied the request. May seem childish but I have to keep him out of my life in order to separate myself fully from that moment in my past. It just made me angry. I really, honestly saw myself marrying him. It just felt good. And here he is without the balls to pick up a phone and call me, so he simply friend requests me on myspace. Why are guys such pussy’s?? Argh! It’s been bothering me all day, even though I told myself I wouldn’t let it.

Well, I apologize that this weekend has been fairly uneventful and uninformative. I’m trying to set up plans next week to be much more social. Going out on Wednesday with my girlfriend Nikki. She always attracts attention (she’s a model, literally), so in turn I get the run off. Should be fun! This week better prove to make me stronger than I feel at this moment or it’s gonna be one LONG year!