March 20, 2009.
Oh what a night…got ready for Miguel’s birthday extravaganza and on my way got a panicky call from Lee saying they were having major car trouble. So I rushed and picked them up, they were way upset, understandably so, and I was determined to make them have a good night. We met up with everyone at PF Chang’s. Ray was dressed nice, we hugged hello, I immediately made chit chat to seem as if I was totally comfortable with the situation, but I totally was not. Ryan and Pete were there also. Dinner was great, our waiter was not so great, and we ended up being there for three + hours. Then when the bill came, despite my earlier request to put Lee and Miguel’s meals on my tab, he handed us one large bill and said, “we don’t split checks”, um…why didn’t you tell me that earlier? So we all took about 45 minutes trying to figure out our bill and finally I just couldn’t take it anymore, I grabbed the check and my credit card and asked the manager to just “please put it all on mine.” I needed to get out of there. I could sense myself getting extremely antsy and uncomfortable.
Every time Ray looked at me or said something I wanted to shrivel up and go under the table. I think he could tell. He decided not to come to the after party at my place and told Miguel on the phone later (loudly enough so I could hear) that he just didn’t feel right about it…and was complaining about how I was sitting all the way across the table from him instead of next to him all night. I just don’t get it!! What does he want from me? To be fake and pretend that I’m in to him? I’m totally not! Tonight proved it. I didn’t think, “Man he’s cute” and I didn’t want to sit next to him and every story he told I just kept screaming in my mind, “Shut up already!!” Oy.
Finally, finally…after the longest dinner of my life we were on our way home. People met up with us at my apt, but it was probably the most lame and boring party ever because Lee and Miguel were so uber stressed about their car situation, again, understandably, but I just wanted them to stop already and just relax because I was becoming so tense just having them there.
However, all I could think the entire night was, I really wish Seattle were still here. I just want to call and vent and listen to him tell me stories that make tonight seem not so awful. I want him to sleep next to me again and make goofy faces when he looks at me because he’s thinking about how amazing I am (that’s all hypothesis by the way). I really wanted to and wish I had the balls and the money to hop a plane to Seattle bright and early tomorrow and spend the next few days with him.
Wow. It’s nice and awful at the same time to meet someone you connect with. Cuz it makes me happy to think about him, but then I want to cry because he’s so far and I don’t even have the option of seeing him.
One interesting fact: he’s a Gemini. Which was is the same sign my first love was. So, perhaps Gemini’s and Taurus’ is a good match? I’m trying to look it up, but my Internet connection is extremely slow.
According to one site: “The Taurus woman is deliberate, sexy and alluring. The Gemini man is clever and fickle. He may prefer mental stimulation more than physical stimulation. Sexually, the Gemini man may think his Taurus woman is too much work while she may feel he’s all talk and no action.”