Friday, March 20, 2009

I put it out there and "Seattle" was the response

March 20, 2009.

Wow. So, like I planned the other day; I met someone. Spent St. Pat’s day with Nikki, Seattle, his brother James, Miguel and Lee. Got drunk off of wine and made out with Seattle in the kitchen of my apt.

Miguel and Lee headed home and James spent the night in the living room with Nikki while Seattle and I canoodled in my room. We started making out and got nakey and Seattle admitted that he’s never had a one-night stand and usually doesn’t do things this fast with girls he just met. I assured him there would be no sex involved in the evening, since I’m celibate in 2009! Woohoo! So we were at a standstill. We lay in bed together all night, chatted for what seemed like forever and got no more than 3 hours of sleep. But the sleep deprivation was well worth it.

We had all planned on spending the next day at the beach, but Nikki was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed some space from the men. So we decided to go without them. I kind of wanted Seattle there, but was very happy to spend the day with my girls. That night, I had text back and forth with Seattle and told him to call me when he got done with poker with the bro. I ended up passing out before midnight and he didn’t finish his game until 1:30am, so no meeting up.

I was on set all day yesterday and received texts from Ray and Seattle. Ray had wanted to go shopping with me for a gift for Miguel, but I was definitely not going to be out any earlier than 9:30, and I did want to spend time with Seattle since it was his last night in town. I made plans to have a late dinner with Seattle after the shoot, however, when I got out there was major LA traffic and I found out that I had a call time of 6:30am for today. Both put a serious damper on my mood. I text Seattle and told him I was “cranky”. He told me “No problem. I’m definitely bummed, but u need to work and u shouldn’t run urself ragged. If I don’t’ get to see u before I leave (which is likely since I fly out tomorrow), I hope we can keep in touch; because I really do feel that I would love to see where it could lead. And lastly, I wish I could read ur blog.”

Ha. Apparently, I opened up completely about my blog the other night…and now he knows he’ll be a part of it! Well, after getting that text I realized, “What am I doing??” I really did want to see him and I was pushing away…potentially sabotaging something great. So I asked if there was any way he could come to my place, cuz “I could really use the cuddle.” Cheesy, I know, but true. So, he did. We lay in bed and talked until 2am. Then attempted to get what little sleep we could before I had to go to work. My alarm went off at 5:15am and all I could think was, “What am I doing??” I decided to take a chance and not go to work. I know…tisk, tisk, two days this week. I need money! “What am I doing??” Ugh, well, I skipped work, however, we didn’t go back to bed, and we stayed awake and talked until 9am. 4hours of completely honest, somewhat overwhelming (in a good way) conversation.

I like him. He’s smart, sweet, funny, mature, honest, trusting, open minded and damn I bet he’s great in bed! Just a feeling I get…I don’t regret my decision to abstain, because, like I said, I really like him. He was totally respectful of the situation, but it was frustrating, for the both of us. My body wanted his pretty badly. We chatted a bit more, then headed off to breakfast at Jinky’s.

He got real quiet while at breakfast, which was weird for us, since our convo’s have been awesome thus far. I didn’t want to ask what was wrong though, because I kind of feared the answer. But, he then apologized for being so “flat” and said he was really exhausted. Me too. But for some reason he gives me energy. Then we headed back to my place so he could grab his stuff and say our farewells. He just looked so sad puppy and said, “I’m kind of bumming.” Me too. He invited me to come up to Seattle sometime and I may just have to take him up on that offer. I want to spend more time with him.

I told him this morning, which is totally true, that I know I must genuinely like him because my mind is completely calm when we’re together. I’m not strategically planning an escape plan or thinking about other things. It’s silent, for once. That honestly never happens. I’m usually a little awkward with the boys in my bed, because I truly don’t want them there. Seattle? If he didn’t have a flight tonight, I’d want him to stay in bed with me all day/night. Humph. I’m so good at picking the least opportune guys aren’t I?

Hey, side note: met a guy on set who just got engaged to his girlfriend and he told me they’ve been celibate for 5 years! They weren’t planning on waiting till marriage, but at this point they figured, why not? I told him I think that’s great! So, if they can do it for 5 years while in a committed relationship, then I can do it for 1 while I’m single…right?

Well, it’s Miguel’s 23rd today and we’re all going out to celebrate (Ray and everyone). I’m kind of nervous to see Ray, but I want Miguel to have a fabulous night, so no matter what, I’m gonna be all smiles and friendliness. Got lots of errands and sleep to catch up on before that happens though, so I’ll update manana!

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