March 15, 2009
I want a boyfriend. But what else is new, right? It’s getting to the point where I don’t like hearing people talk about their boyfriends and relationships, because I can’t help but think, “If you have one, why don’t I?”
I went to The Barrel last night with C's peeps, tried to get Encino to join me, but no luck. I had an ok time, I’m just tired of the bar scene because I don’t want to get wasted and I don’t want to meet a future boyfriend there. So, it becomes a bit pointless.
I’m just amazed that I have no one that interests me and no one interested in me (besides Ray) that wants something more than a hookup.
I text Lindsay last night for Liam’s number. She sent it to me and told me that I should apologize to him. I know I probably overreacted a bit that night, but, and maybe this is just my stubbornness coming out, I don’t really know why I’m the one who has to apologize. He blew me off like five times, got too wasted to hang out, more often then not, then when we finally did hang, he got drunk and left me hanging by myself. Yeah, I guess I was the jerk.
I’m glad I’m gaining lots of girlfriends this year because I’d go nutty with no friends and no boyfriend. At least girlfriends give me quite the distraction; provide me with something else to do.
Hmmm. On set today at LMU for a grad film I’m in. There are three boys in the cast, one’s gay, one’s going back to NYC in a week and the third, I’m not sure yet. There is a boy that’s working on the crew who just seems genuinely nice. And I’m finally finding that attractive. Wow, took long enough. I might have to miss improv again tonight, but I’m kind of exhausted still so I don’t really mind. I can go home to my empty apartment, and fall asleep wherever I choose to and sleep until my doc apt. tomorrow. Sounds wonderful to me. Just wish I had someone to cuddle with. *sigh*. It’ll happen.