Tuesday, June 30, 2009


June 30, 2009.

I'm at home in bed with a very sore throat right now...barely able to talk. I think it's karma.

I was supposed to be up and surfing with Madrid this morning. He called me yesterday and wanted to go on a “surf date” with me today. Very cute. So, I agreed. I slept through my alarm this morning and through a call from Vienna and from Madrid. Man oh man...karma.

Was supposed to work tonight too, but Lacey's going to cover for me since answering the phone usually takes a voice.

Ok, so I've been setting weekly goals for myself as a way to accomplish the things I need to accomplish in my life. I think two of my goals for this week are: 1)no drinking (the 4th is exempt, however) and 2)no sleepovers.

I think I can abide by these for a week. Then we'll see if it clears up my sickness and my crazy thoughts.

I sent an email to Seattle last night. I've been feeling a little off lately and realized what having him read my blog might entail. I was worried that he was thinking about “what if's”. What if we had stayed together? Would Irene have been cheating on me?

And I just wanted to clarify for him that I absolutely would not have cheated on him. I was falling hard for Seattle and when I fall for someone it makes me want to be the best possible person I can be. That's why sometimes I feel like I “need” a relationship. Because it keeps me focused and keeps me from making stupid mistakes. I'm always such a good person when I'm dating someone I really care for. And of course, good is “in the eye of the beholder”. Not that I think I'm a bad person for doing the things I do, but sometimes I do feel like I've strayed off the path of who I want to be in the long run.

Anywho, just rambling. I'll end this here, since I've made you all endure through my last two ridiculously long blogs.

1 comment:

  1. just to clarify my last comment.... i didnt mean 'one and only' as the person you will be with forever but the type of person you mentioned in this blog...someone you truly care for and be committed to....like a boyfriend and you know i've been reading your blog from the very beginning and i know that's exactly what you want. never did i imagine your blog to become a tale of 'how im juggling four guys!' i think the sore throat was truly a wakeup call. :)