A new year, a new me

January 1, 2009.

I’m beginning this blog today to document my year of singledom. My year of being completely alone. My year of self-discovery. My year of my fake engagement ring.

I guess I should start by telling you a little bit about myself. I’m a 24 year old female, living in the city of Angels, Los Angeles and trying to make it as an actress. Yes, I’m struggling. But it’s well worth it. I’ve only lived in L.A. for 14 months and am still learning the rules of the biz as well as the rules of the dating game, which is on a completely different level out here than it is anywhere else in the U.S.

I’ve decided that I’m taking this year to work on my career and work on myself. I’m in the process of mending a broken heart and at the same time trying not to sell myself short and date the slimeballs that live in this city, just because it’s convenient. Been there, done that too much and so over it.

I should tell you that I’m also horrible at saying no. A girl walks into a bar. A guy offers to buy her a drink. They strike up a conversation and talk the night away, all the while the girl is thinking, "What a nice guy! I hope he doesn’t try to kiss me or ask for my number." And the guy is thinking, "She’s hot, she’s been talking to me for an hour, I’m gonna get lucky!" Then the night comes to an end, the girl goes to the door, the guy walks her out and asks for her number. "It’s 818-777….." She doesn’t think quick enough to give a wrong number or even be honest and just say, "You know, I really enjoyed our conversation, but I’m not interested in dating right now." So here she is handing her number to Mr. Wrong and then spending the next month and a half avoiding that bar and not answering unknown numbers. That girl is me. It happens way too much and I know I have to work on saying no. It’s just hard. So I’ve decided to wear my mothers old engagement ring on my ring finger to ward off the approach of guys looking to get lucky. It says, "I’m here to talk if you want to have a nice conversation, but I’m not going home with you!" And it works! I started wearing it about a month ago, just to see what would happen and guys notice! They notice and they comment.

Now, I hate lying too, even to strangers, even to people that aren’t particularly nice, just lying in general makes me feel bad, blame it on my christian upbringing. So, that is also something I’m going to be dealing with this year. I have to believably be "engaged" so that I can fully experience being single (how ironic does that sound). I’ve decided to make this not only something to help me realize what it is i truly want in a mate, but a social experiment. To see how society, guys, in particular, react to a woman that’s promised.

I hope you’ll join me along my path. I promise to be completely honest in this blog about how I’m feeling emotionally as well as physically each day. I can’t wait to see what I discover by the end of the year. I feel that such amazing things are in store for 2009, not just for my life, but for the world and I can’t wait to explore them with me, myself and I. Who knows maybe this will end up being the best thing I’ve ever done for my health. I don’t know about you, but I’m excited!