January 7, 2009.
I think the ring has an adverse effect on guys that already know me.
Went to "pornstar karaoke" tonight with some ex coworkers of mine. Had a good time. Nikki and I dressed like pornstars…we were the only ones that got that memo. I ran into Brad from Improv, he didn’t recognize me at first with my porno get-up. Someone compared me to that girl from Big Love…ugh, I hate that! Sure, she’s a successful actress already and she’s years younger than me, but I’m prettier than that, right??
Well, to get to the point, one of my ex coworkers, Mike, was getting on my nerves. The story starts back in May sometime when we got drunk and made out…all night long. I realized after that I had no interested in pursuing him any further. I get drunk, I get affectionate, what can I say? However, he felt like pursuing me further. So a week or so later we went for drinks again. Only I stuck to one drink only and he got pretty buzzed. We decided to head out and he expected to hook up again. I politely turned down his offer, "Thanks, but I’m tired, I really need my sleep tonight." He begged and pleaded and reminded me of what "a good time we had last time…" That’s what he thinks! So I stuck with my original, thanks, but no thanks. He got quite offended. I think he even left pouting.
Now, being a sensible person, I would think that that would be the end of it. Well, tonight, Mike got extremely drunk and I stuck with my one beer only policy. He flirted and touched and danced. I tried hard to be polite and remember, "he’s just drunk." But, I know now that it’s more than him just being drunk. He started in on the ring. Laughing at it, saying it’s ridiculous, blah blah blah. Then with his next beer came the next level. Jokingly explaining to me how hurt he really is. Or maybe he was just being an ass. Here’s his routine:
"You know, I only hooked up with 5 girls last year, but you’re the only one I really cared about. (Pause) No wait, it was 8. One, lasted three months…she got clingy. But you know, whatever, it was a nice June 22. (Pause for creepy effect) Just kidding, I don’t remember exactly when it was, but you know, we had fun!"
Um…is he really still talking about that one night I was drunk and let him sleep over and we made out a little? Oh my goodness. Get over it! They say guys move on quicker than girls do. Is that really true? I think not.
Wearing the ring tonight was nice. I talked flirtatiously to a guy but kept in mind that if it in fact advanced, and the exchanging of numbers was to be mentioned, I would kindly say "no thanks". It felt nice to have that power. Also, it felt nice to know that I wouldn’t be bringing home another mistake like Mike, who would just keep rehashing one night every time we saw one another.
I need to find more activities to keep myself busy. Coming home to an empty bed every night might make me go insane. So, I’ll just keep extremely active so that I fall right asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow each and every night.
I know Mr. Right’s out there. At least I’m hoping he is. I’m willing to wait, I just hope I don’t have to wait too long. I’ve decided, as another "rule" for myself is to not make this ring thing keep me from finding Mr. Right. Going on dates is acceptable, however, no sleepovers, and no makeout sessions. That way I can still meet guys, figure out if I enjoy their company and then have no regrets and no more notches on my bedpost. I like giving myself that little bit of freedom.
I better get busy…quick!
9:44pm and ready for bed.
So I totally had intentions of being social this evening. I was driving home from my audition when I received a text from Anthony. I met him from a film we both worked on as extras about a month ago. He liked me immediately. I tried to be completely clear in the fact that I was not/am not looking for a relationship right now.
Anywho, we’ve hung out a few times and since then I’ve been scarce in his life due to holidays and the fact that I feel like I’m only leading him on by accepting his invitations. Well, he texts me tonight telling me that he was having a party at his place, “8ish”. I strongly considered going. I came home, made myself a lovely gnocchi dinner and had some plum wine. I was feeling sociable. Then the phone rang and I got a job for tomorrow. I’m working “Kath and Kim” as a spectator at a Roller Derby at 5:30am. No way am I hanging out tonight. It’s not even ten yet and I’m in p.j.’s, teeth brushed, face washed, contacts out and ready for as close to eight hours of sleep as possible.
I’m a true professional! Well, tomorrow is sure to bring about some adventures, so I’ll update manana!
Sweet Dreams of Prince Charming and world where you don’t need him!