January 23, 2009
The Band came, gave me a heart attack, and left. The first night they were here was fun/terrifying. They arrived around midnight and we played a drinking game. One of them made it clear that he was after my heart…I thought it was sweet, but felt not much chemistry.
Then they went out to have a smoke and ended up having a very loud heart to heart outside, which I couldn’t help but fear would wake my neighbors. I lay awake, panicking and listening for someone to walk outside and tell them to “shut the fuck up!” But no one ever did. They were outside until 6 am.
One of them (the cutest in my opinion) had come in a little earlier to use the bathroom and had informed me that when they came in “one of us is going to cuddle you.” I hoped it would be him, but knew it was going to be the one who kept flirting earlier. I’d settle for that.
So, they all came in and claimed their sleeping spaces and to my surprise, no one cuddled. But, I was relieved. That would’ve been awkward. Plus, they’re band guys and the way they were all talking about women was extremely degrading and I felt like, “I don’t want to be one of those girls.”
The next day they left in the afternoon and I was going to meet them later at the show, but decided I really couldn’t spend the gas money (it was an hour and half away) and I was planning on seeing them tonight anyhow, in Hollywood.
They didn’t get back until 2am after their show in Bakersfield. I was anxious to go to sleep because I was picking up our friend from the airport the next morning. After a long series of text flirting with band member #1, they arrived back at my apt. Most of them went straight to sleep (thank God!) but two of them stayed up with me and watched movies. Finally, they were all gone except me and BM#1. We decided, what the heck, let’s cuddle.
It was awkward. And that was that. I absolutely did not kiss him, did not try to get him in any sort of mood and absolutely did not have sex with him.
What I learned: band guys are fun to flirt with but not good choices for boyfriends; I like being single; I miss Tony.
Tony called this evening. He called me last weekend, because he wanted to hang out. I invited him out to Pineapple. Apparently, his phone died and he didn’t get the message till the next day. He called me back and left a message. I made it a point not to call him back. Last year I was always too quick to return his phone calls, so I’m gonna play it a little harder to get. So, this week I’ve just been a little too busy with houseguests to have time to call him. He called tonight. He misses me. I could tell he wanted to hang out, and I really wanted to hang out with him as well, but Lindsay, our friend from college, is staying with us and this is her first night here, so it would’ve been rude to leave. I told him if he wants to have dinner at all next week, he should give me a call. I think he will. I’m glad we can be cordial. I still like his company.
And hey, next week is the last week of January and I’ll be happy to announce that I’ve gone a month without getting laid! That’s a pretty big thing for me. I feel good, emotionally and physically. I feel a little bit cleaner and little bit stronger. Hazzah!