February 13, 2009.
Ugh. Can’t wait for the day I get to write about a great guy. I just can’t seem to win. Yesterday we had the day off, so Lindsay and I decided to take a bus to Universal Citywalk and do some drinking. We hit up the Mexican restaurant and had margaritas and chips and salsa. Then at 4pm we headed to the second floor where there were 3.50 beers for happy hour. How could we resist?
After our first round of beers we decided to see where Liam was. We knew it was his day off, and we figured, we could use the ride back home…I know kinda bitchy. I was still peeved about the previous couple of days he bailed on us. But he came and as soon as he walked through the door, he was adorable and I couldn’t help but be happy he was there.
Then things just felt kind of strange and the more drunk I became, the more irritated I became with Lindsay and Liam. The bartender kept making eyes at me, so I played along. He was pretty cute…could’ve been the beer goggles though. And after two beers I ordered my third and he said, “Tell you what, this one’s on my tab as a welcome to California.” I thanked him. I had told him earlier that I had just moved, cuz I still have my NY I.D. and he wondered about it.
Well, apparently this free drink upset both Lindsay and Liam. A little later, Liam took a crack at me and said something about how if we all go out after, the bartender should come so I can flirt with him. And when Lindsay ordered her next drink, it was not “on the house” and she was not impressed. The thing that was bothering me about Lindsay is that she just wants anyone and everything and anyone and everything to want her. She blatantly said this earlier. And hey, I’m all for flirting and hook ups and having a fun time, but oh my god, don’t think that just because you throw sex at the men in the room it means they’re yours. Leave someone for the rest of us.
I’m not a competitive person. If a friend of mine speaks up and tells me of a crush they have, I completely back down. I’m not about to fight for the guy. The friendship is so much more important. And I would expect the same from my friends. Of course, if the guy is clearly not attracted to me and much more into my friend, I’m not gonna stand in the way. But just don’t try and be more flirtatious and cuter and more fun after I tell you I like someone. Oy.
I’m so over the dating scene here. Anywho, we neared the end of our stay at the Brewery. I was four beers and one margarita in and pretty drunk. I ended up picking up the check, it was fairly cheap for everything we got and I left my number on the check…don’t know if the bartender saw it yet or not, but maybe I’ll find out in a couple of days.
We headed back to my apt so we could change before going out and meeting up with one of Liam’s friends at another bar. I really had no desire to go out anywhere else. I was wasted and extremely tired. The time we spent at my apt is blurry to me, but the moments I do remember are these: At one point, Liam went into my room and checked out my bed…just sprawled out on it. I so badly just wanted to jump on top of him, but I was in the other room with Margaret and Lindsay and he didn’t stay long enough in there for me to work up the nerve. Then I remember he was in the living room, Margaret and Lindsay were in Margaret’s room and I went into my room and passed out on the bed. I heard my door creak open and Liam say, “I knew it!” So, I got up and changed for the third time and joined him in the kitchen where I complained about being tired and we hugged for a nice long time and he said, “This is nice.” Then we were on the love seat in the living room looking through music on Lindsay’s comp. It was nice and cozy. After that, I changed into my final outfit of the night and we headed to a bar called ‘The Baked Potatoe’. I was falling asleep the whole way there in the car. Liam kept looking over and asking if I wanted coffee. I didn’t want coffee, I wanted to sleep.
We went inside and Liam was buying the drinks and I didn’t want anymore, so he ordered me a jack and coke anyway…ugh. I didn’t drink it at all. What is with guys always wanting me to be drunker? Liam disappeared and I guess was networking with some guy he’s trying to get a job with. I sat with Lindsay for a bit, then she disappeared to have a cigarette. I was tired, lonely and upset. I wanted to go home. I text Adain. He didn’t even ask questions just said, “Stay put, I’m coming to get you.” Then Liam showed up and put his arm around me and said, “You wanna get out of here?” and I nodded. Then I thought he said, “Ok, I’m just gonna go get my card.” But perhaps he said, car not card. I’m not sure. All I know is that I was sitting alone for a very long while, Lindsay came and asked if I was ok, I shook my head and said, “Adain’s coming to get me, you can leave with us or you’re more than welcome to stay.” She said, “I’m leaving with you, let me just use the restroom.” Well, then I was alone again for a good long time and Adain called and said he was out front. Lindsay was nowhere in sight, I went to the ladies room to get her and she wasn’t there. So I met Adain out front and called Lindsay. She apparently was out back…with Liam. What the fuck? I thought he was getting ready to leave and I thought she was just quickly using the restroom. I didn’t even know there was an “out back”. So we left with Adain.
I stayed in the car with Adain for awhile and chatted. Then we said our good-byes and I came in and went right to bed. A couple min’s later Adain text me. He wanted to sleep over…I wanted him to. So, he came back. I told him before he even got here though, that there would be no sex. We cuddled, made out, got nakey and of course, he tried to have sex with me, but I stayed strong. No sex. It was much more natural feeling being with him this time than it was 5 months ago.
He stayed for a bit this morning and we chatted more. He caught be up on his latest relationship fumble and I told him how I had thought Liam was the first normal guy I’d liked and he’s turned out to be the most unreliable alcoholic I’ve ever met. I’m so disappointed. But, Adain and I seem to be good, even with all the awkwardness that happened between us. He invited me to join him tomorrow (on Valentines Day) at Big Bear where he and his friends are going skiing tonight and tomorrow. I said no. Still planning on spending V-day at home with some great home cooked meal and champagne…perhaps though I’ll skip the champagne. Alcohol lately has not been proving to be a good thing in my life.
Argh! I’m so frustrated!!! Why can’t there be one nice, normal male in my life who likes my mind as well as my body. I’m really beginning to lose all hope of ever having a relationship again.
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