February 28, 2009.
Well, I’ve been extremely positive, but haven’t found him yet…I can smell him though, he’s comin’ and he sure smells good. Ha, that doesn’t sound quite right.
Last night while on set of “My Boys”, I was told I have the prettiest eyes [he’s] ever seen. He was not it. He was very polite and nice, but not it. Kind of awkward. But awkward could be good, I suppose.
But hey, look out world, it’s the end of February and that means two months celibate for me! Wow! There were a few close calls in there and the nights not over yet, but I made it!
I’m worried that I’m getting so used to being alone that I’m not gonna want to be with anyone when the time comes. It just leaves me so free and open to do what I want. Right now it’s the middle of a Saturday and I’m sitting at Cheesecake Factory by myself with a cup of coffee and salad on the way. It feels good to be independent. Really good. I suppose I don’t have to lose the independence when I start dating, but I’ll just have to find a guy who doesn’t mind an independent woman. In LA? That’s a joke.
Will, from Florida comes back to the states either tomorrow or Monday, I’m not sure which, but I’m dying to see him. It’s been 7 months. I’m sure he’s just as cute as ever, I just want to squeeze him and give him a big wet kiss.
I feel like Miguel and Lee have made me a charity case and are trying desperately to set me up with someone, even though they don’t know anyone that lives in California, “But they might be moving out here!” I don’t want people to make it their mission to find me a mate. I want to find him on my own and naturally. I don’t want anything to seem forced or contrived.
I’m all over the map today, as you can clearly see, but for now, the search is still on, but I don’t like the term “search”, makes me sound a little desperate, how about…my independence still reigns! I like the sound of that!