Mercury Retrograde...crazy!!

May 8, 2009.

Have you heard of the Mercury Retrograde? Well, it's happening right now. It's crazy! If you believe in astrology then this is for you, if not, well, read on for entertainment purposes!

Here's a bit about it from astrology.com:

In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially those who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, teachers, travelers, tricksters and thieves.
Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.
It is not exactly wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is likely that such decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed. Make sure you pay attention to the small print!

The Key Issue
The key issue here is one of focus. Mercury's retro phase tends to bring unforeseen changes and blockages, but the aggravation and frustration that many of us experience during these periods is often due to our own inability to roll with the punches. Is this due to our ego-fixation?
Mercury sets out to restructure our thinking processes and for many of us this is painful and frustrating. Unresolved issues from the past tend to push themselves forward. Moreover, these experiences reveal flaws in our internal organization as well as our external planning, which can make us feel foolish and inadequate.
Mercury retrograde, like any cosmic aspect, affects people differently, depending on where it hits their personal charts. Some people actually prosper under a retro Mercury, especially if Mercury is retrograde but otherwise well-aspected in their birth charts.
It is also a time when matters begun under a previous retro period will come to fruition, or completion as the case may be. Firm decisions that have been previously made when Mercury is traveling normally through the zodiac may be implemented or finalized while Mercury is retrograde without too much worry, for experience shows that this can be done without undue problems arising.

So it's this crazy thing that happens when the planet Mercury goes into “retrograde” or appears to be moving backwards. It affects all sorts of things! But I feel like this explains why I freaked out yesterday about not having time in my life for an LDR. I have just added a few things to my schedule and it appears that visiting Seattle will not be as easy as I hoped in the near future. My schedule is soon going to become ridiculously busy. Which is great and exciting, but sucks for me and Seattle!!

Well, since this is occurring during the retrograde, I blame the stars and I'm not going to overreact and I'm not going to make any rash decisions. This is supposed to last for three weeks. Eek!

Flashback to last night. Went to Kickboxing (totally have a schoolgirl crush on my instructor...something about how flexible he is. Whenever he says “Hi” I blush.), worked out my anger at not having a completely open schedule in which to visit Washington anytime I please. Came home, chatted shortly with Seattle. (14days!) Then headed over the hill to Santa Monica with Jess and Nikki. We actually ventured outside of the valley (*gasp). It was fun, we hit up a couple of bars around the 3rd Street Promenade. The last one we went to was called Renee's, which is super cool and I really want to take Seattle there when he visits! Well, while at Renee's we were approached by a guy looking for the restroom. We pointed in the direction we assumed it was and went to find a table. He came back and joined us after the restroom. He was rather adorable, very sweet, Venezuelan and a surfer. His name was John. A little bit later we were approached by another man who sat down at our table and turns out, his name was John as well...freaky! We were feeling the effects of the retrograde.

Ok, call me crazy, but I think that stuff is pretty cool. Anywho, we all chatted the night away and it was fun and comfortable. Nothing felt forced or showy. Venezuelan John said he might come to the BBQ fest that our restaurant is having this weekend down in Santa Monica. He was very sweet and didn't ask for any of our numbers (which I enjoy because it's just less icky that way). But he seems like a great person, so I hope we do run into him again. The other John was a bit stranger...so, yeah.

It was a really fun night with the ladies, I had dressed up a wee bit, so I felt sexy and confident. Tonight I work until late and then was hoping to go to a midnight comedy show for free with some friends, but I think that might have been canceled. Oh well...something's bound to happen!

One of Those Girls

May 7, 2009

Ok this is hilarious! Seattle stumbled across this...I don't know how, but he emailed it to me. This is a video response to the “Jizz in My Pants” video, if you haven't seen that one go to youtube and watch it! But, this one is about wearing a fake engagement ring to ward off loser guys! Hilarious.






It makes me wonder how many women actually buy these things! I mean, the only reason I thought of it was because I have my moms old engagement ring, so it is a real ring and I've always worn in on my right hand, so it was simple enough to do the transfer. But, when I began wearing it, I did get the response from some guys, “Are you one of those girls?” Who are those girls? And where are they? How come I've never noticed them? And do guys do this too???

Now I'm gonna wonder the next time a guy hits on me and is wearing a ring. Is he really a douchebag husband trying to get some on the side? Or is he just trying to get away from unwanted attention. Ha! Who am I kidding? Guys love any and all attention! That's the last thing they would do!

Now, that brings up an interesting experiment of its own. What if a guy were to wear a fake wedding ring for a year and see how many women he could get interested in him? I bet he'd find it a lot easier to pick up women with the ring than without. It's a symbol of stability and reliability, ironically enough and as soon as women see that, they want it! Man, we suck!

In other news: if you're a single lady in LA, I now know where you can go to meet some men. But you have to be willing to sweat a little bit for it! Went on our usual hike today in Burbank, with Jess and Lacey. Man it was brutal! On the way up though we passed three guys that were heading back down. They were about our age, fairly attractive and apparently athletic. We got to the top and hung out for a short while and on our way down we stopped to take a pic and lucky for us there were three more guys that had just reached the top, so they took a pic for us. Again, about our age, fairly attractive and firemen, nonetheless. So that solves it! Where are all the good looking, presumably nice guys in LA? They're all on a hike! We joked on our way back down about what a great story that would make, “Oh we met one day on a mountain!”

Jess goes, “Irene, you and Seattle have a nice story!”

“Yeah, we met one night at Big Wang's...”, how romantic! I don't mind it though...it had a romantic follow-up.

Oh yeah! And in other even stranger news. When you think this world is big, stop to consider this: Seattle knows a girl that I was friends with in High School. Whaaaaaa???? How random is that? She apparently goes to law school with him. It just blows my mind. I haven't seen or talked to her since HS but we were pretty close back then. It is a small world after all! (15 days...)

I need to Shower

May 6, 2009.

Day 2 of lying in bed/lounging around the house. Still a little sore, but definitely bearable. Talked to my cuz this morning who updated me on her relationship. Things are going well with them. They’re taking a roadtrip from Connecticut (where they go to school) all the way down to Atlanta, Georgia for a wedding in a couple of weekends. Makes me wish Seattle were here to take roadtrips with. How fun would that be?!

After we hung up, of course I had Seattle on the brain, so I text him, “I miss you!!!”

He responded: “Moi Aussi! Just woke up and wondering y u aren’t laying beside me…”

I wonder that every day, Seattle. I do.

Then we did a little flirtatious back and forth that I’m sure frustrated us both because we still have to wait until the 22nd (16 days) to fulfill those thoughts.

I’m determined to make my next trip back up to Washington sooner than a month after the 22nd. I don’t like this once a month thing. I need to see that boy more often. I do!

Ok, so Seattle always tells me that he worries that since he reads my blogs I withhold information, like what I dislike about him or what I’m really feeling about other things. I beg to differ. I’m still very open and honest (I admitted to googling his ex-wife, didn’t I?) But, I’ll try to think of something I don’t like about Seattle or our relationship and post it when it comes to me. This might take awhile…

(un)Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 5, 2009.

Ugh. What I wouldn’t give to have a penis right now instead of a va jay!!! I had an appt today to have a biopsy done to determine if I have cancerous cells living inside of me. What fun! I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever experienced such a thing, but ladies, it’s terrible! I’m not gonna sugar coat it. It’s awful and I pray to God I that never have to experience that again. Now, I’m bedridden (doctor’s orders) for the rest of the evening. I was supposed to be working tonight, but the doc neglected to inform me before today.

Argh!!! I can’t wait until I have insurance and great medical coverage so I can actually choose a doctor I like and who makes me feel comfortable instead of feeling like a science project. Now to top off the exciting events of this morning, there was new doctor I’d never seen in the office today. Young and fairly handsome. Well, lucky me! He was there to observe the procedure and learn from me! Great.

“Hi, nice to meet you, this is my vagina. What do you think?”

And now it’s Cinco de Mayo, I had plans to go out with peeps tonight and was rather excited about it, but don’t think that’s a possibility at this point. Anyone have a penis for sale?? I’m serious.

Ha. Well, last night Nikki and I decided to hit up a new bar to see what the fuss was all about. We also decided to get a little snazzy. I’ve been thinking about it and as much as it stinks that my boyfriend is never around to hang out, I’ve been letting it get in the way of my desire to go out. I’m done doing that! It’s still super fun to get all glammed out and go out with the girls. So that’s what Jess, Nikki and I did last night.

The bar we went to check out was pretty dead. We stayed for a drink (yes, I broke my alcohol cleanse to have a glass of vino) and then headed to our reg. spot Maeve’s. Sultry, our fave bartender was working there and it was service industry night ($3 beers for peeps that work at bars and restaurants). I ordered another glass of wine but sipped slowly, because my tolerance was crazy low and I was already feeling buzzed. Eek!

We pretty much stuck to ourselves, there were guys there, but not a whole lot. We all took turns flirting with Sultry. He’s fun. He’s an actor and reminds me of the guys I went to college with. He’s a total hippie. Long scruffy beard, long shaggy hair, which he always pulls back into a ponytail. He seems rather down to earth and so “un-LA”. It’s nice.

At the end of the night he was joking about being an “amateur gyno” and I shouted out to him, “Hey Sultry, I need an appt. You have any openings?” We set up an appt for 2:30am…right after the bar closes and he gets off work.

If this had been six months ago, I’d probably have taken the offer seriously…

After today though, I don’t ever want to think about sex again! (I know I’ll get over this, but that’s how it makes me feel)

I just wish Seattle were here right now to hang out in bed with me all day/night. It would be much more fun that being here by my lonesome, knowing all my friends are out having a great Cinco de Mayo w/o me. This blows! (17days!!)

Google is an Evil Thing

May 4, 2009.

Ok, so this is gonna be awkward when Seattle reads this entry, but I made a promise to be honest in this blog. So here goes nothing.

I totally googled his ex wife today. I was bored, online and went for it. I think I may have found a picture of her, which is really all I wanted. I don’t know why it’s in our nature to need to know what people who came before us looked like. But, it was killing me not knowing. She has a very original name, which leads me to believe I did find her. But, I could be wrong.

What I learned is that she’s a very smart woman, but I guess I already knew this. Seattle had mentioned before that he usually dates women that are like him in the sense that they’re very logical and scientifical. I’m different…I’m artsy and put my faith in fate.

Anywho, I stared at her picture for awhile trying to imagine what Seattle’s life with her must’ve been like. She looks like a kind person, but I can’t picture him with her. He’s so full of life and her picture made her seem so much older than him.

I feel so silly that I did that, but we all fall under the spell of google once in awhile, don’t we? Don’t lie! I know you’ve been there. It does make me wonder though. I seem so different than her. We never talk about it, I suppose because it’s a hard topic for him, but I’d like to know I guess what it was like when they first began. Their puppy love stage. Was it anything like it is with me? I wonder what he likes about me sometimes.

Granted he always tells me I’m “hot” and “cute” and he just “feels good” when he’s around me. But what else? What else do I have to offer? I wonder.

Off to kickboxing and then I’m breaking my alcohol cleanse and going to go have a beer with Nikki. I need it tonight.

In Limbo.

May 3, 2009.

On the phone with Seattle today, I complained about feeling “unsettled”. I do. About a lot of things. He referred to our situation as being “In Limbo”.

Dictionary. com says:

In Limbo:
1. In a condition of oblivion or neglect, as in They kept her application in limbo for months. [Early 1600s]
2. An intermediate or transitional state, as in After his editor left the firm, his book was in limbo. [Early 1600s] Both usage’s allude to the theological meaning of limbo, that is, a place outside hell and heaven to which unbaptized infants and the righteous who died before Christ's coming were traditionally consigned.

I don’t like thinking of us like this…it makes me sad. I think he’s getting nervous that our relationship is taking up too much of my time. I have felt bogged down with time constraints lately, but it really does have nothing to do with him. Granted it would be easier if he were in the same city as I was. But he’s not and I still like him a whole lot. So even if we weren’t dating, I’d be calling him…a lot.

I am feeling the distance more though. It’s extra hard because we didn’t know eachother at all before we started chatting on the phone. And how do you get to know someone that you’re only going to see about once a month? You can’t really get to know someone over the phone. It’s not the same thing.

I had the fear last night that, what if something happens before I see him in19 days (wow that doesn’t sound so bad) that makes us not want this anymore? What if we get too frustrated? What if it’s just too painful? What if it is keeping us from doing other things? What if we get bored?

This is all just my paranoia coming out once again. Anything is possible and I need to glance down at my ring and remember to just “take a day at a time.”

I was driving home from improv tonight and was envisioning Seattle at his computer screen eating sugar snap peas. It’s really cute. Something about the way he eats them is just adorable! All I could think was, “I want to watch him eat snap peas tonight!” Ha. I’m a dork.

This relationship is definitely going to be a challenge. I’m just hoping it’s worth it! I can do a challenge! I just hate the aftermath of an unsuccessful one.

Ugh. I sound pessimistic and blah tonight. I’m sorry. I’m feeling more positivity coming into my life this week! It’s coming! I can smell it!

Hard Days Night

May 2, 2009.

I worked all night…AAAALLLLLLL Night. My feet hurt. It sure would be nice to have a guy here that could rub them for me.

I realized that my workdays consist of a game called, “Beat ‘em to the punch!” I wore a necklace today that is an interesting shape and I work with a lot of vulgar rude men. So when I got to work, Mike goes, hey let me see your necklace. And I just automatically assumed he was gonna make some sexual joke about it, so I beat him to the punch!

“Kinda looks like a sperm, doesn’t it?” I said quickly.

“Hehe, yeah! I hadn’t thought of that!” And that was that! No sexual joke, or any innuendo, no anything. I got him! It’s always a nice feeling of accomplishment when I achieve that.

Ugh, but I always have a headache by the end, because my conversations consist of so many, “That’s what she said!” ‘s that I almost forget how to have normal conversation. I actually tried with Mike today and he was too busy throwing in comments about makeout sessions between another coworker and me that I couldn’t get my sentences out. It was pointless. It’s like talking to five-year-olds. Yup, these are the men I work with.

If only I could speak Spanish! Maybe I’d find some real conversation in the kitchen! (That totally wasn’t intended to be a racist comment, it’s just a fact that all the guys in our kitchen staff are Mexican and mainly speak Spanish, so we never really get to have convo’s because I don’t understand and they do, but don’t know how to accurately respond. It’s a real shame.)

Anywho, I was supposed to go to that party at Pete’s after work. Lacey and Jess were going to accompany me. But it was so hectic tonight that we didn’t get finished at the restaurant until 11:45.

Seattle had placed a bet with me that if I went to the party he was sure Pete would try to get with me or make some sly comment like, “How ‘bout a sleepover?”. I bet that he wouldn’t. The bet was on. If I lost I had to write him a poem and vice versa. I can’t believe we’re even betting on this! Ugh.

Well, technically neither of us one, but really, I won! Ha. I didn’t go, so Pete didn’t get a chance to charm me! But, I do think I would’ve won anyhow. I called him to see if the party was even worth coming to anymore around 11:50 and I expected him to say something like, “Well, you should still come over, but everyone’s leaving.” And he didn’t! So there! I won!

And now, it’s late, I’m exhausted and I’m gonna call Seattle and distract him from his studies for a bit. I realized today, having an LDR is kind of like a part time job. All the time you spend on the phone really distracts from daily activities. I’m not complaining! I’d rather be on the phone with him than doing those things most the time anyway. It’s just hard to fit everything in!!! Oy!