Tuesday, May 5, 2009

(un)Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 5, 2009.

Ugh. What I wouldn’t give to have a penis right now instead of a va jay!!! I had an appt today to have a biopsy done to determine if I have cancerous cells living inside of me. What fun! I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever experienced such a thing, but ladies, it’s terrible! I’m not gonna sugar coat it. It’s awful and I pray to God I that never have to experience that again. Now, I’m bedridden (doctor’s orders) for the rest of the evening. I was supposed to be working tonight, but the doc neglected to inform me before today.

Argh!!! I can’t wait until I have insurance and great medical coverage so I can actually choose a doctor I like and who makes me feel comfortable instead of feeling like a science project. Now to top off the exciting events of this morning, there was new doctor I’d never seen in the office today. Young and fairly handsome. Well, lucky me! He was there to observe the procedure and learn from me! Great.

“Hi, nice to meet you, this is my vagina. What do you think?”

And now it’s Cinco de Mayo, I had plans to go out with peeps tonight and was rather excited about it, but don’t think that’s a possibility at this point. Anyone have a penis for sale?? I’m serious.

Ha. Well, last night Nikki and I decided to hit up a new bar to see what the fuss was all about. We also decided to get a little snazzy. I’ve been thinking about it and as much as it stinks that my boyfriend is never around to hang out, I’ve been letting it get in the way of my desire to go out. I’m done doing that! It’s still super fun to get all glammed out and go out with the girls. So that’s what Jess, Nikki and I did last night.

The bar we went to check out was pretty dead. We stayed for a drink (yes, I broke my alcohol cleanse to have a glass of vino) and then headed to our reg. spot Maeve’s. Sultry, our fave bartender was working there and it was service industry night ($3 beers for peeps that work at bars and restaurants). I ordered another glass of wine but sipped slowly, because my tolerance was crazy low and I was already feeling buzzed. Eek!

We pretty much stuck to ourselves, there were guys there, but not a whole lot. We all took turns flirting with Sultry. He’s fun. He’s an actor and reminds me of the guys I went to college with. He’s a total hippie. Long scruffy beard, long shaggy hair, which he always pulls back into a ponytail. He seems rather down to earth and so “un-LA”. It’s nice.

At the end of the night he was joking about being an “amateur gyno” and I shouted out to him, “Hey Sultry, I need an appt. You have any openings?” We set up an appt for 2:30am…right after the bar closes and he gets off work.

If this had been six months ago, I’d probably have taken the offer seriously…

After today though, I don’t ever want to think about sex again! (I know I’ll get over this, but that’s how it makes me feel)

I just wish Seattle were here right now to hang out in bed with me all day/night. It would be much more fun that being here by my lonesome, knowing all my friends are out having a great Cinco de Mayo w/o me. This blows! (17days!!)


  1. ouch! Are biopsies that painful?? Hope Seattle makes you feel better. ;)

  2. Feel better! I imagine that sucks and is no fun. I'll pray for your va-jay-jay! :)

  3. Your poor little vajayjay. It will be all better when Seattle arrives in town...


  5. I'm sorry! I hope you feel better! I just went to the Padres game last night and I only had 1 beer! I should have been out enjoying a margarita, but no. I'm being good. ;-)