Friends...should stay out of it.

July 20, 2009.

Why is it that once you make a decision and resolve to something the universe throws a stone at your face? So, after I text Todd yesterday afternoon about possibly grabbing a coffee and chatting for a bit, he didn't respond. I took this to mean that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore and that was that.

I've been a little sad thinking about how it all went down, but I've been putting a positive spin on it and realizing, what this meant; I have a 100% clean slate right now. My phone is silent, there are no boys knocking at my door. Wow. This is my opportunity to keep it that way.

This thought was growing on me. No ties to anyone right now. Free to do and be whatever it is I want to do and be...

About 20 min. ago, Todd just text me. He wants to meet for coffee, how's tomorrow night?

Crap. I don't want to meet with him anymore. What am I gonna say? “Thanks for meeting up to discuss “us”, just wanted to tell you in person that I like the idea of there not being an “us”. See you later!”

I told him that I sent the text yesterday and was shocked to hear from him, he just got it this morning. I haven't committed to meeting up yet. I'm still not sure I want to. I told him I'll keep him posted if I'm available tomorrow.

I mean, what is there to talk about anymore? I don't think I want anything from him. I want him to know I'm sorry for acting so dramatic and drunk the other night, but that's about it.

Ugh. What's a girl to do?

I don't know what to do!

Oh man, and now I just got another text from Todd explaining that his phone was “confiscated” the other night after his last text to me, because his friends were being, “well...friends”.

Great. So that means they all think I'm an asshole and don't want him talking to me. Which now makes me feel even less like talking to him, because if we did happen to talk things out and decide to either continue what we've been doing or start something new, his friends don't like me.

ARRRRHGFHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm really upset now.