Random Thoughts.

July 21, 2009.

Harumph. What to say. What to say...

Didn't text/call Todd tonight. I just don't think I'm gonna. I just don't see a point to it all.

One regret I have is that I left an oil dish at his house the night I went over to cook dinner. I really like that dish and I'm sad to see it go, but I don't really think there's any chance of ever seeing it again, unfortunately. Last time I slept over, I saw it in the kitchen and thought about grabbing it and putting it in my purse, but then I just thought, naw, I'll grab it 'next time'. I should've just grabbed it right there and then.

Moral of the story ladies...don't leave things at boys places. You may never get a chance to get them back. Grrrr.

Absolutely silence on my phone today. No boys are curious as to where I'm at. It's somewhat calming. A little ego deflating, but all in all a good thing for moi.

Mike at work came in tonight and announced that he saw my 'ex', Tony. “Homeboy's gotten fat!” I gave Mike a high five. I'm a terrible person, but I love hearing this. When Tony and I first got together, he was beautiful. Now we no longer talk and I know he can't possibly be getting together with girls more attractive than I, because, well, this is Hollywood, and he's fat. Yes! One point for the home team!

Went for a brief drink with Nikki to porn star karaoke at Sardo's after work. Tried my very best to give off a bitchy vibe so no one would hit on me. Two attempts and I just kept up my ice cold treatment. Nikki's too nice. She's just so willing to chat with everyone that says 'hello', even if she knows right off the bat she's not interested. I'm not willing to do this. Think I'll start claiming to be a lesbo.

On the drive home, we passed by the house I last saw CRAgent at. Kind of wanted to text him. Didn't. I realized then it would be my fault for inviting a man into my life.

It's just plain hard to be single. As much as you want your independence and freedom, you can't help but crave that nighttime affection.

It's been forever since I've hung out with a boy that I like in the day time or just, for hanging out sake. I miss it. I wanna go back to high school for a day or two.