Tears of...joy?

April 15, 2009.

I feel like a kid going to Disneyworld for the first time. I’m so excited about getting on a plane in 41 hours and 34 mins…

Plus this couldn’t have been planned any better. Tomorrow night is our 80’s prom that we’ve been planning. I’m going with Seth and I got a kick ass crazy dress that looks just like Madonna out of the 80’s. Hot!

Ugh, I still have lots to do before this weekend and I’m not exactly sure where to begin. Today was good though, I got up early to run, attempted to go to an audition, then went dress shopping with Lacey and am super stoked with my purchases. Worked all night made some good dough and now am gonna do a few more errands around the house before I can get some shuteye.

And all I want to be doing is talking to Seattle on the phone. Ok, so we had another nice long talk last night where I broke down crying and I’m pretty sure I heard some sniffles on his end too. I told him how frustrated I am with everything right now, because I really do want a relationship and I really do want it to be with him, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to do long-distance (for the third time in my life). Why is life so cruel?

He was upset because he talked to an ex who’s being ridiculously jealous and angry with him liking me and apparently she made a big scene at school and said horrible things to him. To be completely honest, she sounds psycho to me. But, I would never say that to Seattle because he’s got one crazy lady in his life, he doesn’t need two. Plus, I know how to win these battles. Remain calm, non-judgmental and supportive the whole time. Don’t get jealous, angry or tell him what to do, even if you know the right move. That way, he will always know you’re the right girl for him and not that other controlling, manipulative, psychopath b*tch. Oops…did I say that?

Ok, deep breath. I’m fine. Ha, oh man this weekend is definitely going to be one for the books. We’re both still really excited to see one another, it’s just very sad as well because we don’t know if at the end of the weekend things will have to change for the better or the worse. All I know is that I’ll most likely be crying on the flight home. That’s fo sho’. It just isn’t fair!! How come great guys don’t live in LA? I’m glad to know they’re out there, somewhere, it just isn’t fair that they don’t live here.

Destined to be an old maid…on to prom!!