A little Catch-up

May 10, 2009

Alright. Time to play a little game of “catch-up”.

Friday Night (May 8th): Went out to Rocco's, this new bar we're trying out, with Nikki and her boy, Lacey, and Zack. We put it in our minds that we were gonna rock any bar we went to that night. So, this we did! Rocco's is a nice Italian looking bar/restaurant that we turned into a straight up club! We started dancing and grooving with no rhythm and bad moves (like white girls do) and were having so much fun, other people couldn't resist but to join in. At one point we had at least 1/3 of the bar dancing with us. It was such a feeling of bliss. My favorite thing about it, was that we brought happiness, enjoyment and freedom to the people (especially the girls) in that bar. We totally made their night. There was no cattiness, no jealousy, no fights, no hate. Just a whole bunch of strangers dancing as they pleased, smiling and laughing the whole time. What have you done lately to bring a smile to a strangers face? (Let's all challenge ourselves to do something to make one other person happy each day.) Anywho, this is why I love my girls. I had such a blast that night, and didn't need to even think about boys, because we were just so involved in having fun. Not trying to impress anyone. Not trying to hook up with anyone. Not trying to be something we're not.

Saturday (May9th): Locked myself out of my house on my way to work. Realized I had locked my car keys and house keys in my apt. Great. Lil' bro spent the night elsewhere, so I had no option but to say, “Fuck it”. Called Lacey, told her my dilemma and even though I was supposed to drive us to the Pier to work at the BBQ Festival that morning, she came and picked me up and we headed down. Ugh. But the festival was a blast!! There were four other people from the other location of C's that were working with us. Two guys were Marines and so much fun to work with! I made it a game for everyone. I said we should make as much (fun) noise as possible, because people notice noise and want to be a part of it, therefore we'd sell more. So every time someone came up to order we would shout out the order real loud and in unison, just for fun. “All Beef.” “ALL BEEF”. It really made the day lots of fun and it flew by.

Venezuelan John stopped by! He was cruising the fest with his friend and he found me! He's so adorable. We chatted for a bit and I hooked 'em up with some beers (shhh!), then we exchanged numbers before they left so that he can let me, Jess and Nikki know if he's doing anything for his b-day. He's only been here for 6mo's, so he's still in that searching for friends phase.

One of the other C's girls and I walked around the fest a bit later to do an “exchange” and get some free food. We approached this one tent and they were quite excited about swapping. One of the chefs who was young and very attractive was talking to us while the others were preparing some food. I gave him a beer that I had brought over as part of the exchange as well. He was very happy with this and asked if he could, “return the favor later?” Then wanted to know what we were doing after work and informed us that he would be down the street at a local pub drinkin' a bit more. Hmmm.

Ended my night at C's with my two managers. Yesterday felt weird with me and Rye, the manager I worked with all day. He hugs me a lot. A lot...and for awhile. Not just quick hugs. And I know he hugs a lot of other people, but I feel like yesterday, it was mainly me. He's married and knows that everyone knows this. But it does not stop him from drooling at other girls that walk by or flirting with customers. It's kind of gross. But most of the men at my restaurant are, so I just brush it off. But last night he wanted me to go get a beer with him back at the restaurant, so I agreed. But, then he suggested we go bar hopping. I told him if he wanted to go when Nikki was off work, sure, but I was going to wait for her. Something just felt a bit odd. I feel like if I had gone out with him, he would've tried to get me to kiss him or something last night. Which is the last thing I'd ever do/want to do. It was strange, but now I know, at least for a while, I don't want to be alone with Rye.

Last night, Nikki and I went to Off Kilt for a drink. We ran into quite a few familiar faces and had a good time. I couldn't help but feel though, as I often do, like a third wheel. At no fault of Nikki's, it's just when we run into someone that likes her, that guy often has blinders on and only sees/talks/listens to Nikki. Last night even, guy in question, went to the bar and bought Nikki a beer, even though she wasn't even halfway through her current one and said she didn't want another. When he came back to our table, he placed it down in front of her and then as if the lights had been turned on, he looks at me with this, “Oh yeah” look on his face and goes, “You good? You want something?”.

No thanks. I don't want a pity beer. I'm better than that.

Walked home and hung out with Lil bro and his friend for a short while then headed to bed. Woke up about an hour later to Seattle's phone call. He had gone out drinking last night with friends and I told him I was expecting a drunk dial. I was happy to wake up to his voice. He told me about his night with the boys at the bar and bowling and all this funness. Then he mentioned these three girls that had approached them at the bar and then gone back to his place with him and his buddies to have a few more beers. He reassured me that they were unattractive and uninteresting. I didn't care. This upset me and I became really quiet. I just didn't like the thought of these girls being at his place. All I could picture was him on his bed with another girl. He lives in a studio and doesn't have a couch, so his bed is really the main place to sit. Yuck. So, I just kept having these really uncomfortable thoughts about this.

Earlier at Off Kilt Nikki had asked me if it bothered me that Seattle was out with his buddies at bars and whatever. I answered honestly, “Not at all. I trust him. He's not the cheating type.” I believe that. I know that. I just got really jealous about these other women being in his place. I hate jealousy. If I could invent something that would zap that word/emotion out of the universe I would do it in a heartbeat.

I acted immature and told Seattle I was really tired, so we hung up. Well, the jealousy/uneasiness was eating me alive from inside out. My stomach felt like it was burning and it spread throughout my entire body, into my limbs and into my fingertips. It consumed me and I knew I couldn't go to sleep feeling like that.

So, I text Seattle and asked if we could talk some more. I explained how I was feeling and told him I was more upset at how it made me feel than what actually happened. I have no right to tell him he can't have people over at his place. He did nothing wrong. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he wanted these people there. In my world, I rarely want to hang out with boys at my place because it just makes me sad and want to be talking/lying around with Seattle. But in his world he's inviting these girls back to his place. I just didn't get it.

He listened and accepted how I was feeling. He's wonderful. We talked it all out. He admitted that he did think the situation was a bit strange and that him and his buddy had already joked about it because these girls were so unattractive and so uninteresting. But I still couldn't help but to think, “Well, what if next time they're beautiful and ever so interesting? What then?”

I don't know. It just bothered me. I get to see him 12 days though! That's nothing! I can't wait. I really need some face time with that boy.

Man, ok this blog I think has set my record for longest ramble. I hate missing multiple days!! So much happens!

Oh yeah, more on the retrograde. It says something about people from your past or unresolved issues arising around this time. Todd keeps trying to get in touch with me and hang out. Ugh. It stinks because I would totally love to be friends with him and be able to just hang out, however, we've never been just friends. So, is it possible? I don't know. But, I don't want to give him the wrong impression, so the next time I see him, if I see him, I guess I'll just have to be completely honest about my situation and what I do and don't want from him.

On to another week full of adventure!!