Playing field levelled...

May 24, 2009.

Ahh! It's the first time I've missed a day of blogging all month. I have a good excuse though. I was out of my house from 8am yesterday morning until 11am this morning. My schedule is crazy busy this weekend (thank God!it distracts me from Seattle's nonexistent visit).

Wow. So much can happen in a day though! So, my boss started texting me on friday night. He was supposed to come out with us, then plans changed, I stayed in and I thought he went to a bar with Nikki. So after like a half hour of texts I was confused, “Aren't you with Nikki?” He apparently didn't go to the bar at all and had stayed home also. So now, the funny playful text messages I had presumed were for the entertainment of him and Nikki, took on a whole different meaning. He was texting some racey sh*t...

I wasn't really in a playful mood, I had been thinking about Seattle and being sad, so I wasn't really making an effort to keep this fl-exting (flirting through text) thing going. I gave up and decided I should go to bed. Said goodnight. This is what he text me:

“Good night, sweet dreams, I mean that. I love that you work there and that I get to work with you. Erica [his girlfriend] always says, “You always talk so highly about Irene it's like you have a crush on her.” Maybe I do...haha, no it's just sexual...haha. Good night!”

I didn't respond. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll?? That's what I was thinking. I'm so confused by him.

Haven't seen him since friday, so not really sure what's going on there.

Last night, me and the girls had decided to go out dancing. We found this place in NoHo called 'Skinny's'. So we ventured out. I had received a text from CRAgent telling me to give him a call after we're done dancing. He told me he was house sitting and there was a jacuzzi. Needless to say I brought my bikini to the bar.

We danced our butts off at this place. It was a lot of fun. There were quite a few guys there but not too many that I'd actually want to get with. When we were done, I text CRAgent and asked if he was still up. He told me to come over. Turns out the place he was house sitting was right down the street from Nikki's, which is where we were. She drove me over there.

He is cute. Cuter than I remembered. He invited me in and I met his older bro. They were playing pool in this amazingly huge beautiful home that belongs to his sister. I was drooling over this place. It was a complete dream home.

Well, I think he was anxious to hang out with me, because his bro wanted to play another round of pool and he really didn't want to. I made him. I never want to get in between someone and their family or friends. I'm not that kind of girl. So I watched as they battled it out...CRAgent kicked some ass. Then he gave me a tour of the house, I met the dog, Charlie and the tour conveniently ended in the master bedroom, where we ended up in bed, making out and fooling around.

Unfortunately, Aunt flo is in town this weekend, and I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of having sex while bleeding. Especially in someone else's big white fluffy bed. Hell no! So, there was no sex, but (to the tune of 'Found a peanut'):
“I touched a penis, touched a penis, touched a penis, not too small, touched a penis, touched a penis, touched a penis, that is all...”

How old am I again? Ha, so I guess my goal to not touch a penis for awhile is shot out the window. I'm not gonna lie. He's got an awfully nice one. It's not too small, not too big, it's just right. And I enjoy touching it.

The verdict on CRAgent is this: he seems like a really great guy. He seems sweet. He seems mature. I don't know if there's a lot of passion there. I don't know what his likes/dislikes are. I don't know much more than his first name and how to make him orgasm. Not sure where this one is heading, but I'm interested in finding out.

He drove me home at 11 this morning so I could get ready for work. We kissed goodbye in the car, it was sweet.

When I got home, saw that I had missed a text last night from Seattle: “I'm broken. I totally fucked up. And I read the blog. Don't know why I am wanting to talk to you because I know it would hurt both of us. But I still want to.”

I was feeling very zen this morning, so I figured it couldn't hurt to have a quick convo before work. I refused to let it end in tears and decided I really wanted to have a nice conversation with him for a change.

Well...I'm proud of myself. He told me within the first five minutes of the convo that he slept with 'Becks', just like I predicted. Girls know these things...we can sense it even from two states away. I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't hang up, I just listened. And it made me feel so much better.

This totally evens out the playing field (maybe even makes him in a worse position because I was the one hurting and upset and looking for a distraction when I slept with CRA, but he just always had feeling for Becks and wouldn't admit it.) Gross, but now I can peacefully move on.

I told him this news actually made me happy and he said, “Now you can just tell yourself that the whole time we were together I wanted Becks the whole time. That'll make it easier.”

“No it won't, why would I do that? Is that the truth?” I was appalled at this statement.

“No, I just thought that makes it easier for you to move on.”

Um, no Seattle, that would make me feel worse. That would make me feel like I meant nothing at all to you and you were just using me for the time being since Becks in engaged (didn't know that did you!) and you can't “see [yourself] having a long relationship with her”.

I need to find a picture of this B*tch and make sure I'm more attractive.

We had a good conversation and I'm happy that we did. Of course I'm still a little bitter and not entirely happy with the situation, but things are looking up. He told me he went out to the bar last night and got a number from some strange chick that was playing games with him. A girl that he had gone to the bar with told him after, “Seattle, you can do so much better.”

I said, “Yeah, you had better.”

And he goes, “I know.” I just had to throw that at him. I guess I do want him to hurt. Maybe just a little.

Ugh. Life. Todd's back this week. Hoping to see CRAgent again this week. I'm free to do what I want!

Off to improv!