Tossing and Turning

May 14, 2009

I could not sleep last night. Got back from the bar around 1am and couldn't help but shoot a text to Seattle. I knew he was out with friends celebrating his last final exam being over and his second year of law school being finished:
“Hope you're having a great night. Missing you like crazy...hate this! On my way home, got an early morning, blah. Night.”

He text me back, “Me too, nite nite.” I was saddened by his response, because I expected a little bit more from him, even perhaps a drunk dial. I came home and saw that he had checked my blog. I figured that he was a little upset about me having set up a date with Todd.

My assumption was correct. I tossed and turned until 3:30, then woke up and noticed that I missed a text message from him:
“On my way home, wanting to drunk dial you but I know you have to get up early. I read the damn blog again and am extremely jealous, but I hope you have a fun date.”

Ugh. So, I responded: “Argh! Just got your text and so frustrated! I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning all night. All I wanted was a drunk dial from you, but figured those weren't kosher these days. Thought you were mad about my blog too.”

So he called. We chatted and I was happy to hear his voice. We talked for an hour and I learned that he thinks he's “broken” or “messed up” because of this situation. I still don't think he's convinced that he's not. I kept telling him it's completely normal for him to need time and space. There's nothing wrong or “messed up” about that. He really is wonderful.

Today I had a doctors appt to find out the results of my biopsy (yikes). He asked that I call and let him know how it went afterwards. We talked while he was on his way up to Vancouver to spend the day with his mom. He asked about my date tonight. But, he asked like a mature, caring friend, not a jealous ex-boyfriend. I know it's hard for him to think about it, but he's trying to be so good and wish me well.

He told me that he just hates the idea of me 'settling' and knows that there is a great guy out there for me. “You'll find him someday...” I said, “I already found him...”

Oy vay...anywho, I totally had my money on Todd flaking tonight. But, he called me while I was driving this morning to set up plans. He sounded excited. It was cute. We're meeting up later than I expected at 9:40ish and we're gonna get chinese takeout and watch a movie at his place. He called to see what movie I wanted to watch. Comedy! I need comedy!

He told me he wants to get at least 3 choices for me and he knows the perfect place to get food from. I'm happy to get to spend some time with him. I hope we're able to actually talk a little bit. I wanna crack his brain. It does make me feel a little weird though, because of course I still want Seattle and Todd is just sort of a distraction right now.

I hope he's not expecting me to sleep over. That is not my plan this evening. We shall see how the evening goes...wish me luck!


In other news I recieved an award from one of my wonderful followers, however, I'm not sure how to attach links to other blogs which I'm supposed to nominate...a little help? As soon as I figure it out, I will write down my nominees! Thanks Ali!